Show Notes

• 00:00 – Intro
• 00:51 – How to Ask Joe and Big Al On Air
• 01:20 – More Funnier
• 03:06 – Making Fun of Finance
• 08:06 – Don’t Change a Thing
• 09:13 – Spitballing, Not Advice
• 09:41 – Watch Recipe for Retirement | Retirement Plans Explained on YMYW TV
• 10:32 – Story Time: Al’s Mid-life Crisis, Al’s VW Rabbit, Joe’s Travel Experiences, Hans’ Paintings, Joe the Player, Joe the Dancer, Color Me Badd, Ricky Runs Fast, You’re a 1099, FIRE, Retirement Planning Dinners, Movie Talk, RVO, Joe vs. the Holidays, Ice Skating
• 35:10 – Joe and Big Al… Are Human
• 39:56 – Calculate Your Financial Blueprint and Schedule a Financial Assessment – both free!
• 41:22 – More Joe and Big Al… Are Human
• 46:32 – Outro
• 47:05 – The YMYW Family
• 48:24 – The Biggest Derail Ever

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Transcription

Intro

Andi: I’m Andi Last, Executive Producer for the Your Money, Your Wealth® podcast. And for 499 episodes of YMYW, Joe Anderson, CFP® and Big Al Clopine, CPA have been making fun of finance. Thanks for joining me for episode 500, where we’re celebrating The Top Funniest Moments From the YMYW Podcast, Volume 2. Check out episode 300 from back in November of 2020, for Volume 1. For this episode, I’ve compiled some rare, never before seen, can’t-miss Derails, jokes, stories, screw-ups, and outtakes… from two talking heads sitting at a desk. That is to say, we appreciate you following, watching, laughing, and commenting on YouTube or Spotify, but if you’re listening in Apple Podcasts or another podcast app, you will laugh just as much. First up, Joe and Big Al explain how to send in your money questions.

How to Ask Joe and Big Al On Air

Joe: Go to YourMoneyYourWealth. com, click on Ask Joe and Al On the Air.

Al: You want to emphasize that, huh? People call you the wrong name sometimes?

Joe: Sometimes, Al. “And Andi, God bless. You must have older brothers.”

Andi: I do. Joe and Big Al!

Joe: Did you just call me John?

Andi: I did not. I said Joe and Big Al.

Joe: Or Joel?

Al: Joel. John.

Joe: Jackass. “Love your show. You are both, you both are very funny.”

Al: Wow.

More Funnier

Joe: Big Al, you’re so funny. So funny. I love your-

Al: Can you imagine how funny the show would be without you?

Joe: Oh, it would be way more funnier. I don’t even know if that’s a right sentence. Is that just terrible grammar?

Andi: Yeah, totally.

Joe: It was just-

Andi: But that’s what makes it so funny.

Joe: It was like more funner?

Al: Way more funnier?

Andi: Way funnier.

Joe: Way funnier.

Al: Way funnier.

Joe: It’s… let’s move on. “Love the subtle snarkiness.”

Al: Are we snarky? Well you are.

Andi: You’re unsubtly snarky.

Joe: Yes. “I drive a 2017 Volkswagen Jetta” – More funnier. That’s not? More fun.

Al: We know what you mean.

Joe: It’s terrible. People listen to this, it’s like, this guy is a complete imbecile. And they still write in and they still want to listen.

Al: People switch stations and they hear you, it’s more funnier.

Joe: Oh my God. It’s like, “Oh, the guy actually said that he manages finances for a living?”

Al: Well, I’m good with money. Not words.

Joe: It’s just embarrassing that I have to read all this crap out loud.

Al: But that’s why we love the show.

Joe: Okay. “I drive-” When’s the last time you listened to it?

Al: It’s been a while.

Making Fun of Finance

Joe: I don’t know how you continue to do this as I just butcher names. “Dear Andi, Joe, and Al.” Or Big Al. I’m sorry.

Al: Yeah. Let’s get it right.

Joe: Sorry Big. Got Alberto, from… you said it with, a little bit differently. Is it Hilberto?

Andi: Hilberto.

Joe: Oh, wow. Okay. I knew that was coming.

Andi: I’m guessing. I’m hoping that that’s close based on my high school Spanish.

Joe: I make fun of the questions themselves. “Thanks for the great show, long time listener. I enjoy Joe’s jokes and Big Al’s wisdom. Joe’s jokes.

Al: Yeah, got good jokes. You’re the funny man, man.

Joe: Yeah. You’re the straight guy.

Al: I’m the wisdom guy.

Joe: “I won’t bore you with cars or drinks.” Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Al: That’s the only part Joe likes.

Joe: I know. You’re boring me with all your financial garbage. Yeah. I want to like enjoy, you know, just visualizing what these people look like, what they, like to drive, what they like to drink, you know, then you feel like you’re, they’re right there with us. All right. Josie writes in from Atlanta. “Listen to YMYW in the shower.”

Al: That might be a first.

Joe: “While getting ready for work. Thank you.” Wow. Interesting. I’m just trying to get-

Al: You like to picture where they are.

Joe: There we go. All right. We got Alissa from Cedar Rapids, Iowa. “Hey Andi, Big Al, Joe. I’ve been listening to the show for about a year and enjoy it very much. I often listen to it while drying my hair or on the drive to work and I always find it entertaining and educational.” Drying your hair.

Al: That’s a first, I think.

Andi: I don’t know how you listen to a podcast with a hairdryer going.

Joe: I think this is the best podcast to listen to while you’re drying your hair.

Al: I think you’re right because if you only catch about every 10 words, it’s good enough.

Joe: It’s good. It’s perfect. I have access to planning tools and a no cost consultation with an intelligent and attentive CFP®.

Al: Okay. Well, that’s good.

Joe: Wow, he’s probably really handsome or beautiful.

Al: Yeah. When I first saw that, that’s what I thought intelligent and attractive. But then I saw, oh, attentive. Okay.

Joe: “Can you share how a mutual fund portfolio would work in retirement? For example, I have 500,000, right? 500,000 and withdraw 5,000 in a year.

Al: $50,000.

Joe: Is that $50,000. There’s no comma.

Al: I know. It makes it harder. Let’s see, it’s five with, how many zeros, one, two, yeah, commas do help us.

Joe: I will say that the humor and mispronunciation, which, while intentional, is amusing.

Al: Yeah. Spelled wrong.

Andi: So Joe, is it intentional, the mispronunciation?

Joe: Absolutely not. I’m a very terrible reader.

Al: But that’s what makes it fun.

Joe: No, it’s, it’s so, it’s, I’m embarrassed. I could never listen to this program.

Al: Yeah, but if I read the questions, we wouldn’t have any listeners. It would be pretty boring.

Joe: But I should prep.

Al: Yeah. That’d be good.

Joe: I could read them like six or seven times, and then it would just flow.

Al: Just practice in the car. How am I going to read this without pausing?

Joe: Yes. I’m going to tape myself reading the email questions and listen to it over and over.

Al: It’ll get better and better. Fifth time I do it, I’d be way better.

Joe: But this is, I mean, I’m getting a lot better when I, remember when I would read anything?

Al: Well, I remember in the early days, you didn’t read anything.

Joe: It’s terrible.

Al: I read the true false questions.

Joe: Yeah I was like, you go for it Al. I’ve got Christine from Seattle. “Joe’s an acquired taste, but happily a taste I’ve acquired.”

Al: Yeah. It takes, it takes a while to warm up.

Joe: Yeah you know, it just takes a couple of episodes and then you fall in love, right?

Al: Yeah.

Joe: It’s just like, except for that one guy, it’s like, “yeah, I’ve subscribed and unsubscribed 10 times. I just can’t do it. Something just draws me back, but then flippant Anderson makes me unsubscribe and give you a one star review.” Yeah. I’ve been told that. So I appreciate that, Christine. “It can be a little hard to follow when he and Al process out loud. But they’ve either gotten better at summarizing or I’ve gotten better at tracking. I don’t know. I think she’s tracking better.

Al: That’s what I think too.

Joe: She’s acquired the taste. She’s tracking. She gets it. See, she doesn’t even know she’s getting smarter. As soon as I start being annoying, it’s like, wow, it clicks.

“Note, the contact us form on the website wouldn’t submit for me.” Imagine that.

Andi: Surprise, surprise.

Joe: Website sucks. Maybe it’s their browser.

Andi: Could be.

Joe: Oh my God. I just sounded like an IT guy.

Al: Who is in this room with me?

Joe: Yeah. Browser. Chrome.

Al: Do you have any other ideas why it doesn’t work?

Joe: Maybe it’s, maybe it’s the Chrome.

Al: Maybe it’s an Apple book instead of a PC.

Joe: Yeah, maybe. Is it, hmm. Hashtag.

Andi: Maybe you should clear your cache.

Al: Irrelevant.

Joe: Yeah, you got to clear your cache. Right. Something like that. Okay.

Don’t Change a Thing

Joe: “Don’t change a thing. I prefer to be entertained as I learn.” Who said we’re changing anything?

Al: Well, I think, Ninja and others made you question your style, maybe.

Joe: Well I was just gonna retire. “Seeing as this is the backdoor Roth show.”

Al: Is it? Have you thought of changing the name from Your Money, Your Wealth® to the backdoor Roth show?

Joe: “I thought I’d just ask you a question instead of doing my own research.” All right, Jared. That’s what we’re here for is we’ll do the research for you free of charge because we’re the backdoor Roth guys. “I made a call last year to Stan the Annuity Man.”

Al: That’s a great name. We should get something catchy like that.

Joe: I gotta get Stan the Annuity Man on here, man.

Al: But what can we do with Joe and Al?

Joe: We’ll figure it out. We will come up with something.

Al: Andi, get on it.

Andi: Okay. I’m working on it.

Joe: Oh, that is catchy.

Al: It is. I mean, even I want to meet him.

Andi: Well, I mean, you guys are the Roth brothers. You do have that.

Al: Yeah, but that doesn’t rhyme.

Joe: It’s not Stan the Annuity Man! That just rolls right off the tongue.

Al: Yeah, we gotta do better than that.

Spitballing, Not Advice

Joe: We take pride in this. It’s not like just off the shelf advice. This is zero advice here. Brent the Fan. “Hey guys, can you spit ball for me?” Damn right Brent the Fan, we can. So he could have four and a half, 5 million in a retirement account. Of course, all hypothetically, this is just totally a spitball. This is a big, juicy one, right?

WatchRecipe for Retirement | Retirement Plans Explained on YMYW TV

Andi: The most important ingredient in any good retirement recipe is the retirement plan itself, but you’ve got 14 different types to choose from. So what are the best ingredients for your unique Recipe for Retirement? In this week’s brand new episode of Your Money, Your Wealth® TV, Joe Anderson, CFP® and Big Al Clopine, CPA outline the characteristics, benefits, and drawbacks of defined contribution plans, defined benefit plans, and equity compensation. Whether you’re a worker, a self-employed small business owner, or a management or executive type, they’ll break down your options from 401(k)s and IRAs to pensions and cash balance plans. From Solos, SEPs and SIMPLEs, to RSUs, NSOs and ISOs and ESPPs. Learn about all the acronyms and ingredients that can go into your Recipe for Retirement. Click the link in the episode description to watch Your Money, Your Wealth TV – right after this episode. Sometimes listener questions just completely Derail Joe and Big Al, and YMYW turns into story time.

Story Time

Al’s Mid-life Crisis

Joe: “Hello, Joe, Al, and Andi. It’s Brian from Queens, New York. Chilling in the 2012 Honda Odyssey minivan.”

Al: Right.

Joe: That’s what you have.

Al: That’s what I used to have when I went through my midlife crisis, which is about your age now. So I expect to see you any day in a red convertible.

Joe: Did that make you feel better?

Al: Oh, way. And I got the baseball cap. Beautiful, beautiful stuff.

Joe: Did you feel like Tom Selleck?

Al: It was like, it was 42 degrees and I had the top down the heat all the way up, parka. It was awesome.

Joe: You were one of the guys that had the top down with the windows up and the heat on.

Al: Yeah, that was me. Only in the summer I put the windows down.

Joe: so it changed your life. It – the midlife was-

Al: I’m, I’ve got my Zen now because of it. I went through that period. I survived.

Joe: How long did it take you to get through it?

Al: 20 years.

Joe: Okay. Oh, “my first question. you guys had Paul Merriman on the show.” Yeah, like 400 years ago!

Al:  That was episode one.

Joe: That was when Al was in the heat of his midlife crisis.

Al: Yeah, I don’t even remember those days.

Joe: Yeah, Al would show up to this show with his wavy hair.

Al: It went straight back.

Joe: He was freezing. It was like “why are you so cold?”

Al: I finally pulled off my parka when the studio- was after the heat kicked in in the studio.

Al’s VW Rabbit

Joe: “I’m driving a little 2018 Jetta with 32,000 miles. Which is my 5th leased and/or purchased Jetta since 1985.”

Al: Did you ever own a Jetta?

Joe: Big fan of the Jetta there. Jay Jetta man.

Al: I actually did own a Jetta once.

Joe: I didn’t, I’ve never owned a Volkswagen.

Al: I also owned a Volkswagen Rabbit. That was my first car out of college.

Joe: Isn’t that convertible?

Al: No.

Joe: Isn’t that the Can’t Buy Me Love car?

Al: No.

Joe: You’ve probably never seen that movie. This, you should watch this movie.

Al: No. You’re thinking of the Volkswagen bug, aren’t you.

Joe: No, no, no, no. It’s a Rabbit. You’ve never seen Can’t Buy Me Love have you?

Al: No.

Joe: Patrick Dempsey, since you’re a Hugh Grant fan, you’d probably love this. It’s like a – it’s a rom-com.

Al: Here. Let me, let me jot that down. I’m gonna watch it tonight.

Joe: I’ll text you later. Can’t Buy Me Love. Yeah. And the girl he’s got a crush on, she had a little convertible Volkswagen Rabbit, and then like every girl that ever seen that movie wanted to have a Volkswagen rabbit convertible.

Al: Well I can tell you when I bought a Volkswagen Rabbit, which was in the…

Joe: 90s?

Al: …early 80s.

Joe: Oh, wow. You were before your time, Al.

Al: Well, I was way before everyone else’s time, apparently. So, but there was no convertible at that point. It was just a hard top. But so that was something that happened later apparently.

Joe: Yeah I went to high school in the 90s. And so that was a big deal.

Al: Cnvertible Rabbit?

Joe: Convertible, yeah. Rabbit. Convertible Rabbit. Right? Andi, you probably-

Andi: Actually, I don’t know the movie. I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just had to Google the car to see what you’re talking about. And I’m gonna take issue with you saying that you went to high school “in the 90s.”  You and I are about the same age. I graduated in ‘91.

Joe: I did. I went to, no, I was a lot later than that.

Andi: Okay.

Joe: ’92.

Al: That’s nineties, right?

Joe: It’s nineties. Yep.

Andi: Okay.

Joe: Right? It’s not the seventies.

Andi: No, you’re right. You’re right. You’re right.

Joe: It’s not the 2000s.

Al: You could’ve said eighties out or nineties and you would have been correct.

Joe: Nineties. I got a two year old son.

Al: That’s a whole other topic. How old will you be when he’s in high school?

Joe: Oh my God.

Al: That’s a whole other calculation.

Joe: Yeah.

Joe’s Travel Experiences

Joe: Jeff. “Joe and Al, Greetings from sunny Singapore.” Singapore.

Al: Singapore. Have have you ever been?

Joe: International program here. Global. No. Never been

Al: Me neither. My son’s Rob’s been.

Joe: I’ve been out of the US like, twice.

Al: Mexico?

Joe: Maybe three times if you count-

Al: Mexico, Canada, and what’s the other one?

Joe: Yeah I’ve been to Canada a couple of times because I’m from Minnesota.

Al: Bahamas?

Joe: Yeah, I’ve been to the Bahamas once when I went to, when I was in Florida and, I went to London.

Al: Oh, you went way across the Atlantic. Look at that.

Joe: Yeah. I went to London for like a week.

Al: Okay.

Joe: But that’s about it.

Al: I didn’t know you’re such an international traveler.

Joe: It’s crazy, isn’t it? My passport is out of control.

Al: One stamp, maybe two.

Joe: Oh boy.

Al: Have you been to Canada?

Joe: Oh yeah. As a kid.

Al: Okay. Oh yeah. Cause of Minnesota. Yeah.

Joe: Yeah. We would go fishing.

Al: Sure.

Joe: Take these little flying cabins.

Al: Yeah.

Joe: Take, like the planes land on the water.

Al: Sure. Yeah. That would be not very much fun, I don’t think.

Joe: You catch a ton of fish.

Al: I’m sure, because no one else is doing it.

Joe: Exactly. You’re the only ones. You have this whole thing to, you know, these lakes to yourself. But that was in high school and I haven’t been fishing since.

Al: Got it.

Joe: Because it’s- your spoiled, right? You throw a line and you’re catching all these walleye and right.

Al: Right. Are you freezing?

Joe: No, it’s summer.

Al: Oh, it’s summer.

Joe: Yeah. Freezing? I’m not ice fishing in a-

Al: I thought you said you’d land on a lake?

Joe: Yeah. An airplane does because it’s remote.

Al: Oh, it’s, it’s pontoons. Okay.

Joe: No, it’s an airplane that lands on a lake.

Al: No I understand.

Joe: But it’s not a pontoon.

Al: Don’t you call those pontoons? What do you call ‘em? What do you call it?

Joe: A pontoon is what you sit and party on. I don’t think pontoons fly.

Al: I don’t know what you call that. The kind of plane that lands on water. We’ll have to look that up.

Joe: You know, have you ever seen a fantasy Island?

Al: Oh yeah.

Joe: Yeah. “The plane, the plane”?

Al: Yeah. Tattoo.

Joe: All right. Let’s get back to Jeff. “I have a question regarding the stack-” Pontoons.

Al: There’s a name for those funny things they put on the planes

Joe: I suppose. I mean, maybe instead of wheels?

Andi: It’s called a seaplane.

Al: I know, but.

Joe: Float plane?

Al: The attachment that goes on the wheel.

Joe: Oh.

Andi: Oh. Actually, “those with separate pontoons or floats as float planes.” So there you go.

Al: Wow. Look at that.

Joe: “Oh, I know what youre talking about it’s a pontoon.” Okay.

Al: So you party on those things, huh?

Joe: Yes, I do.

Al: On those little things that go on the wheel?

Joe: Yes. I got an oar, six pack of Coors Lite, just sit up

Al: On your lap.

Joe: Yeah, you got it.

Hans’ Paintings

Joe: We got Ship of Fools.

Al: That’s a good name.

Joe: Sounds intriguing.

Al: I wonder where he’s going with that.

Joe: “I plan to take five to ten years off of full time work and sail to eastern U.S., Bahamas, Caribbean, etc.” Alright, so he bought a sailboat or she bought a sailboat. Ship of Fools bought a sailboat. “I plan to travel and live on the cash.” This reminds me of this guy I met in Hawaii named Hans.

Al: Hans. Okay.

Joe: So I was in Hawaii, for my buddy Mikey Martin’s return trip from out, out at sea. Deployment.

Al: Oh yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. Sure.

Joe: So Dani, Mike’s wife and I, went out to meet with him and her family. And so we rented this house on the beach. And this guy lived next to this house and his name was Hans and he was just a nomad.

Al: He lived very cheap.

Joe: Very cheap, and what he would do is paddleboard all day and he was a traveling nurse, right? So it was in healthcare.

Al: Yeah.

Joe: And then he’s like, “yeah, I work when I want to work and I can go in here part time.” And he’s like, “I haven’t really worked in 20 some odd years.” The guy was like probably 60 something and just ripped, in great shape, the happiest guy.

Al: Living the life he wanted.

Joe: Yeah. But he was kind of, he was odd. He was a little, he was a little odd. Maybe Ship of Fools is a little odd. But he brought me to his little hut, right? So he had this tiny little house. He’s like, “yeah, here, come in. I wanna show you my place.” And then, so I’m walking up the stairs to his little room. And there’s these pictures of like this naked lady that was like 70, 70 year old pictures. You know, like in the seventies, Farah Fawcett hair, totally naked. And I was like, “Hans, what’s going on here? Who’s this?” He’s like, “Oh yeah, that’s my ex-wife.” There’s like five pictures, huge paintings.

Al: Huge. Yeah.

Joe: And I was like, “I gotta get the hell out of here, Hans.”

Al: It’s creeping me out.

Joe: It’s creeping me out a little bit.

Joe the Player, Joe the Dancer

Joe: “Joe and Al walked into a trendy high end lounge. Joe buys drinks for four beautiful women next to him and sitting down at the bar. The women then get up and sit at the table with the big man, Al Clopine.”

Al: Well, I will say I am married, but-

Andi: So is Joe.

Joe: Yeah, so am I. I don’t understand the reference, was it because of something we said in the TV show?

Andi: No, I think it’s just because you have the reputation historically as being a player.

Joe: Oh. Got it. He’s listening to some older episodes.

Al: Apparently. Yeah.

Joe: I got an interesting email here. It goes, “Joe, you might not remember me, but we hooked up one night in Atlanta.”

Al: Ooh, this could get steamy. Sure you want to read this?

Joe: I lived in Atlanta, Georgia.

Al: I know, that’s why I’m thinking this is a blast from your past.

Joe: Like 20 some odd years ago, right? “While we were talking-,”

Andi: “Talking,” that’s probably in quotes.

Joe: That’s what it says. “While we were talking, you mentioned the importance of diversifying investments. So when I started investing into IRA accounts, I set up a new account each month to put the money into. That’s a pretty good, smart move there.

Al: Set a new account up every month.

Joe: Every month.

Al: Because you got to diversify.

Joe: You got to diversify. “The problem is, since I now have over 200 accounts, it’s going to take a long time and effort to get them all transferred. Is there an easier way to do this?”

Al: Wow. 200 accounts.

Joe: What the f- This is so strange. “I’ve got nine cats and a neurotic paranoid beagle.”

Al: Okay.

Joe: “I drive a 97 Toyota Prius in live in Portland. I’ve signed this Helen Wheels since you sang that song to me at the karaoke bar, because my name is Helen. Since you never call me after that night, I hope you will be willing to make it up to me by helping me out with my situation.” Wow.

Al: Yeah. You didn’t call her back.

Joe: Yeah, we’re singing karaoke.

Al: Or karaoke?

Joe: Do you say karaoke or karaoke?

Al: Karaoke.

Joe: Andi?

Andi: Karaoke.

Joe: Karaoke?

Andi: Karaoke.

Joe: karaoke?

Al: You say karaoke?

Joe: I don’t know.

Al: Tomato, tomato. Who cares.

Andi: I love the fact that you hooked up with somebody and then talked to her about diversifying her investments. That might explain why you’re still single.

Joe: It could be. Yeah. You know, we’re just-

Al: Was that before or after you hooked up?

Joe: I don’t know who Helen Wheels is. I would remember. Nine cats, a paranoid dog, drives a Prius?

Al: Yeah, but that was-

Andi: This is how Helen is now.

Al: A different animal.

Joe: This is what I did to Helen. She had to move to Portland and get a bunch of cats.

Al: Because you never called her back.

Joe: Never called her back.

Andi: And she had to manage her 200 accounts.

Joe: Yes. I am so sorry about this situation. Yeah, it would be good to see Helen.

Al: Do you have a good karaoke voice?

Joe: Oh, yeah.

Andi: He’s much better as a dancer, I think.

Joe:  Yes. I’m not a singer. I’m a dancer.

Al: I will vouch for that.

Joe: Yeah. These hips don’t lie, Al.

Al: I’ve seen you dance Michael Jackson for an hour straight thinking “when is this going to end?”

Joe: I got a routine. I practice it in the mirror.

Al: It actually was really good.

Joe: Yeah. I was dancing one time at a little party. This one guy goes, “There’s no way he doesn’t practice that.”

Al: It just comes naturally to you.

Joe: It does. You get a nice little music and you start dancing. I’m sure a lot of people like that.

Al: Not too many that I know of.

Color Me Badd

Joe: Color me sad.

Al: Don’t be sad.

Joe: It’s like Color Me Badd.

Al: It’s okay to send us an email.

Andi: I knew you were going to say that.

Joe: That used to be my favorite group of all time.

Andi: Really?

Joe: Color Me Badd. Oh yeah.

Andi: And what was their hit song?

Joe: What? I Wanna Sex You Up, right?

Andi: That’s the one. Al, did you know that?

Joe: So good.

Al: I missed that whole group.

Joe: What?

Al: I was probably raising kids.

Andi: You gotta be in our age group.

Joe: Wow, Color Me Badd, man. I would be dancing to that.

Al: Was that like a one hit wonder band?

Andi: Yes.

Joe: I don’t think so. I liked every single-

Andi: Yes.

Joe: song that Color Me Badd came out with.

Al: All seven of them.

Joe: They were so good. Great album.

Al: Got it.

Joe: Yeah, the guy. Oh man. Like parachute pants.

Al: Really?

Joe: With the little beady like John Lennon-

Al: Was he the lead singer?

Joe: Oh yeah.

Al: yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. You gotta have style to be the lead singer.

Andi: Wow, you really did know this group, didn’t you, Joe?

Joe: Oh, yeah. Dressed just like ‘em in high school.

Al: You still do sometimes. You go to parties, parachute pants, it’s like, where’d that come from? Now I know.

Joe: Yeah. Little half shirt. Gold chains.

Andi: Singing I Wanna Sex You Up.

Joe: Yeah. Just yelling.

Al: Now I know to stay away from you when you’re in that outfit.

Ricky Runs Fast

Joe: We got Ricky writes in from Alabama. Is this Ricky? “Ricky runs real fast.”

Andi: That’s Ricky.

Al: Oh that Ricky.

Joe: Ricky. Ricky steals bases.

Al: Ricky Henderson, for all you out there.

Joe: Oh, I love Ricky Henderson. Ricky.

Al: Always talked in the third person and you just love that don’t you?

Joe: You know, it’s one of my biggest pet peeves of all time because I only like it when Ricky Henderson did it.

Al: Yeah, that was kind of cool. But anyone else can’t do it.

Joe: “Ricky, Ricky runs real fast.”

You’re a 1099, FIRE, RVO 

Joe:

“I am a 1099. She is a W2.” Is that how you refer yourself ? I’m a 1099.

Al: Yeah, and she’s a W2.

Joe: Go to a little cocktail party. “What are you? W2” I’m a 1099. What’s up?”

Al: Is that what you do, first question at a cocktail party? “ Are you a 1099?”

Joe: Yeah, 1099? You kinda look like a 1099.

Al: 1099, that’s kind of risky behavior. You’re W2. Kind of more steady. Slow as she goes.

Joe: I know we are savers, FIRE people. Oh boy.

Al: Financial Independence Retire Early.

Joe: Oh yeah. 1099er. “I save about $280,000 a year.”

Al: Wow. I’ve never saved that much.

Joe: Yeah. That’s people making a lifetime. “We currently-” “Wow, I’ve never saved that much.” That’s Big Al talking. He’s got the biggest wallet I’ve ever seen.

Al: That’s a little rich for even me.

Joe: “I’m a 1099.” Oh God. I keep going back to that. That’s funny. FIRE, Financial Independence Retire Early.

Al: Love the concept. Don’t you want- Everyone wants to do that, I think.

Joe: No, I hate the concept to be honest with you.

Al: Not me. You need more hobbies.

Joe: I just, I don’t think I’d really- I mean, we’ve- I’ve never met a FIRE guy that I really-

Andi: Joe you haven’t met many people that you really like!

Joe: It’s like, “I’m saving 85 percent of my income. I’m living in a tent down by the river so I can retire at 45, and I got like 8 million bucks.”

Al: Well, I’m not saying I want to do it. I’m saying I think it’s cool, because, you know why? Because you have more control and freedom over your life.

Joe: You’re FI, but why aren’t you RE?

Al: Because I like the non-RE got it. You’re right. I am FI.

Andi: He couldn’t stay away from you, Joe.

Joe: Yeah. Well you’re not RE, you’re RO.

Al: What’s that?

Joe: Retire old.

Andi: Retire old!

Al: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I suppose. Or RVO retire very old.

Retirement Planning Dinners

Joe: You’re not going to get anywhere near stock market, like returns with no downside risk. So, but the salespeople out there, let’s see if you go to, you know, the steak dinner ones, the chicken sandwich or the chicken dinners.

Al: Yeah. Steak dinners, whatever.

Joe: Steak dinners. Yeah. You and I used to do those for TD Ameritrade.

Al: We did.

Joe: Wasn’t that the worst existence of our lives?

Al: It was not fun. We stopped it.

Joe: Oh my God people would just yell at you. It’s like, you go, you can get these invitations. A lot of people get invitations, they go every single night.

Andi: Free dinner.

Joe: Right. Free dinner, and they’re good places too.

Al: Yeah. And you’d see a lot of the same people the next month when you did it. Okay. I remember you.

Movie Talk, FIRE

Joe: I watched this movie and I forget the name of it. Harrison Ford’s in it. You like Harrison Ford.

Al: I do. I’ll probably know it.

Joe: Dude, this is another rom-com.

Al: I might.

Joe: And it’s, Ryan Reynolds’ wife what’s her name? Anyone, anyone.

Al: Ryan Reynolds’ wife. I need more than that. Andi’ll look it up

Andi: Blake Lively.

Joe: Yes. Thank you. Blake Lively.

Al: No. Don’t know it.

Joe: She gets in a car accident and then she stops aging at the age of 23?

Al: No, I didn’t. I don’t know that one. Missed that one.

Joe: Oh. That’s a doozy. So she looks the same, right? And then all of a sudden everyone, like her daughter, looks like a real old lady and she still looks super hot.

Al: Got it.

Joe: But, I mean, she’s miserable. Because she can’t have long term relationships and everything because they’re like, “Oh my God, why don’t you age?” Yeah. Right. So, okay.

Al: Well, that’s handy for this.

Andi: What does this- ?

Joe: But no, what I’m saying is that, you know, everyone wants to keep their, their youth.

Al: Yes, right.

Joe: But be careful what you wish for, because if all toue friends and everyone else dies around you, you know. Because when you’re 45, you know-

Al: What are you going to say now?

Joe: Nothing, nothing. I don’t know. I mean, right. I mean, there’s a lot of things. If I retire tomorrow, I’m going to spend way more money than if I was working.

Al: You would, I know that.

Joe: right? You just want to spend your money. You spend your money on the weekends.

Al: And if you retire tomorrow, I will see you, in three months, “Al, could I have my job back?”

Andi: It’ll be three weeks.

Al: I’m with the one, the two year old. And I just, I can’t do this.

Joe: Oh my God. Yeah. I’m going to say, you know what? One day I’m going to say, it’s like go pound sand. I’m out of here.

Al: So Rosie said, you know what, since Joe, you’re staying home, I’m going to go back to work.

Joe: Yeah. Oh she’s working.

Al: I know, but she’s going to go big. You’re not going to see her much.

Joe: Oh yeah. She’d go huge.

Joe: She’s going to travel.  Yeah, I’d be miserable. I’d be a couch drunk or something. I don’t know what the hell I would do.

Al: Well, one good thing you have a shorter life expectancy. So you wouldn’t run out of money.

Joe: Yeah, exactly. I would be, right? But at 40, I mean, right, I’m not a FIRE guy. I’m going to retire old.

Al: Or very old?

Joe: Yeah. Well I enjoy what I do. So, you know, but if, if you’re like, man, that’s so many years of, all right, well here, I’m going to travel. I’m going to do this. I’m going to do all of that stuff costs a lot of money.

Al: Yes it does.

Joe: But I suppose if you’re FIRE, you do all the coupon stuff too, right? You probably get all the deals.

Al: Get the last minute cruise thing where the $10,000 cruise costs $1,800.

Joe: Yeah. You go on Spirit Airlines.

Al: That’s right, and you smuggle in a thing of water.

Joe: Yeah right. No. And I, I mean, I don’t travel that often, but there’s, I gotta at least get leg room, you know, I’m a big guy.

Al: Well, what if you’re shorter, you could get away with it.

Joe: Yeah I suppose, I dunno.

Al: You couldn’t, you’d have to get two seats. It would blow the whole thing.

Joe vs. the Holidays, Ice Skating

Joe: Tis the season Alan.

Al: It is. Love, love this time of year.

Joe: Oh it’s just joyous isn’t it?

Al: Family time, love, puppies, Hallmark movies.

Joe: Yeah. It’s like, I can only stand a couple-, you know, I love the holidays and I like it and all, but it’s like, sometimes it’s just too much.

Al: You’ve always told me you like Thanksgiving more than Christmas.

Joe: Oh way better. I’m like a routine guy. You know what I mean? I like a routine. I get up early and like to work out. I like to get my stuff. But then you get like these real long weekends. And the next thing you know, you know, I’m having a Coors Lite on a Wednesday morning. It’s like what the hell is going on here?

Al: Got it. Got it.  Okay. So you need the structure.

Joe: I do. Yeah. Just to stay sane.

Andi: So the times that you mentioned couch drunks, you’re actually talking about your own potential future.

Joe: I’m talking about myself. Yes. I dream about it every night.

Andi: Okay.

Joe: You got big plans for the holidays, Al?

Al: Staying local. How about you? You got young kids.

Joe: I’m local, just chillin’.

Al: That’s always fun at Christmas.

Joe: Oh yeah. Christmas time. My life has changed, Al.

Al: You got the stockings. Have Santa Claus come and fill up the stockings?

Joe: Oh God. Yeah.

Al: Santa Claus eat the cookies and-

Joe: Just a couple of years ago I was downtown, just hanging out at bars, and then now.

Al: Instant family.

Joe: Now I’m dressed up as Santa Claus going to bed at like 8:30 at night. I went to the Grand Hotel. And did a little- they had a little ice skating rink.

Andi: Did you ice skate?

Joe: No, I did not. They had like, it was, there was-

Al: I would pay to see that.

Joe: It was really good areas for children.

Al: When’s the last time you ice skated?

Joe: I’m from Minnesota, Al. So I’m a hell of an ice skater.

Al: I’m sure you are.

Joe: My ice skating days were, were far and few.

Andi: Did you play hockey at all?

Joe: No, I wish. All my buddies did, but like my, well, there was an ice rink right down the street from my house. But it was outdoor ice rink.

Al: Sure. Makes sense.

Joe: And so all the guys would go and, you know, we would play boot hockey, which is, you know, hockey without ice skates, or you would put on the skates, you know, so we would do a little bit of both, but I, I didn’t have hockey skates. I had figure skates, with like the whole toe pick, and they were my dad’s old ones, or he bought them for me. And I’m like, “why, I don’t want figure skates.”

Al: I bet you could do a great circle 8.

Joe: Toe pick. You know, it was so embarrassing. So, yeah, that was my ice skating.

Al: Did you wear an outfit?

Andi: A tutu?

Joe: No, didn’t have an outfit, but yeah, I’m, I’m still scarred for life. I had a good friend from high school that almost played in the NHL, you know, I hung out with his buddies and a few of them could have gotten the show. I’m a bigger guy, 6’4”, 220 pounds.

Al: You would have been imposing.

Joe: Yeah I would’ve been killer.

Al: Would get right in the net and knocked it right over. I can see it now.

Joe: But no, my dad kind of blew that up with the figure skates.

Al:  I did go ice skating at the Hotel Del in Coronado. That was maybe three, four years ago.

Joe: I thought that was for kids. Were you the only adult, just chasing the kids?

Al: I was older by 60 years.

Joe: Oh my God, mommy, daddy. Who’s that creepy old man at the ice skating rink? He keeps talking about taxes. It’s so weird.

Al: That’s right. How’s your 401(k)? Is it invested right?

Joe: Tell your parents to do a Roth conversion.

Al: Don’t spend the Roth money, guard the Roth. I got a lot of weird stares.

Joe and Big Al… Are Human

Andi: Joe Anderson is a Certified Financial Planner Professional. Alan Clopine is a Certified Public Accountant. These fellas are knowledgeable and experienced financial professionals. They’re also human.

Joe: Not excited about this next question here, Big Al.

Al: It’s two- it’s a little bit more than two pages.

Joe: Yeah, and when people try to be like cute and funny in their emails, right? And I’m not a very good reader.

Al: And there’s no capital letters and not too many periods. So good luck, good luck on this one.

Joe: And I’m just going to read it how they wrote it. And you know, sometimes we get in trouble for doing that. It’s not my fault that people don’t know how to write a standard email. I suppose we have to like fix it up and fine tune it and put grammar in it.

Al: Well, I don’t know, but we do prefer when it’s a page or less.

Joe: All right, here goes nothing, folks. I apologize in advance if I butcher the hell out of this. We got Roberto from Minneapolis, Minnesota – from the homeland.

Al: Yeah, there you go.

Joe: Oh, well, that’s why I’m reading this, Roberto, because you and I are brothers.

Al: You’re probably at least cousins.

Joe: At least if he’s from Minneapolis, you know. All right. “Love the show and very glad I stumbled on it. one of my favorite go to pods on cue, Jake, our COVID rescue lab, Akita Shepherd, American pit bull mix also loves to tag along on the journey while listening. Not to worry nor need to chug-a-lug too many Coors Lattes to unwrap yourself from the axles or untwist your tidy whities, since I will not be asking about a Megatron barn door backyard doing.” Oh wow, I can’t believe I got through that.

Andi: That was good. That was really good. I’m impressed. Apparently he writes like you think.

Joe: “After listening to many shows, not sure if I can air them out. I talked to recently married Michael Chipperfield to do a free assessment thingy after reviewing and chatting over our situation, he says we are mirandering on the golden path to chillin’ couple of spitball looksies is what we’re asking for.”

Andi: That was supposed to be meandering, for anybody wondering.

Al: But I like yours better though.

Andi: Mirandering, I like that.

Joe: Mirandering.

Al: Got to be the same meaning.

Joe: It has to be. “I have not done any type of conversions since CO traditional IRA is an…

Al: Amalgamation.

Joe: Amalgamation of rollovers, crossovers, transfers, et cetera, and figuring out pro rata would probably cause us to drink more. Drink of choice, preferably local brewed Pilsner or a properly aged single barrel bourbon or a good Napa cab or a sultry Oregon pino or a gin and tonic.

Andi: Or…

Joe: Oh, geez. All right.

Al: PS.

Joe: And more importantly for Andi, congrats and hats off for the awesome ability and job at corralling these two cats on a regular basis. And hopefully that salary raising meeting turned out okay. Salud.

Andi: Thanks Roberto.

Joe: Well, did you catch a question?

Al: No, there’s no question.

Joe: No question.

Andi: It was he was asking for a second opinion about whether or not Michael Chipperfield did a good job for him or if you’ve got any other suggestions.

Al: Well, we don’t know what Michael Chipperfield told him, so it’s hard to answer. It says, looking for a spitball, okay, on what? This is great. You did a good job saving.

Andi: Well, Michael said that they’re on the meandering path, meandering on the golden path to chillin’. So would you agree?

Al: Well, yeah. Anyone that has this kind of income, this kind of savings, these kind of assets…

Joe: You’re just chillin’.

Al: You’re – chillax, man.

Andi: So Joe, this is one of those emails where you would say they just wrote in to brag.

Joe: Exactly. That’s what Roberto did. He’s like, and then he wanted to be funny by throwing out the chillaxin’ and the-

Al: When you were reading all the drinks, I was going back to the start – where, what’s the question?

Joe: Like, what the hell man? Yeah, I think you’re good. I think you are good.

Al: What you really need. If you, if you want to know, you need a full financial plan that charts this out from now – ‘cause you’re young – chart this out to retirement age and see, see how it works 20 plus, 30 plus years, and 40 years in retirement. Does this still work? That’s what you really need.

Joe: Yeah. Hire Michael Chipperfield.

Al: Yeah. Just get a professional opinion from an attractive CFP®. I guess Michael would count for this.

Calculate Your Financial Blueprint and Schedule a Financial Assessment – both free!

Andi: Now there’s a quick and easy way to find out how long your money is likely to last in retirement with a complementary Financial Blueprint, courtesy of Your Money, Your Wealth and Pure Financial Advisors. Click the Financial Blueprint link in the episode description to get started. Input your details, and this tool will analyze your current cash flow, your assets, your projected spending for retirement. It’ll then calculate three scenarios to help you determine your probability of success. This detailed report even includes future taxes, and actionable steps you can take now to achieve your retirement goals. Take control of your retirement future with a Financial Blueprint today! Click the link in the episode description to get started.

Once you’re armed with the information you need, consider meeting with one of the aforementioned experienced professionals on Joe and Big Al’s team at Pure Financial Advisors for a Financial Assessment, either in person, at one of our several offices around the country, or just online via Zoom. The Financial Blueprint and the human assessment are both free, with the goal of educating and empowering you. The Pure team will help you develop a thorough financial plan that goes beyond the basics, offering guidance that addresses both your unique immediate needs and your long-term retirement vision. At the end of the assessment process, you can decide whether Pure is a good match for your needs, and what the next steps look like. Get your Financial Blueprint and learn more about Pure’s Financial Assessment. Click the links in the episode description to get started. Click the links in the episode description to get started.

More Joe and Big Al… Are Human

Al: If you could get a lot of it or even most of it at that age and have all the tax free growth, I personally wouldn’t worry too much about the Oregon tax.

Joe: Okay. Yeah. I wasn’t sure where you’re going with that, bud, to be honest.

Al: Me either.

Joe: You were like, “well, yeah, let’s just assume that you’re 70 and you’re not living in Washington and moving to Oregon. It’s vice versa. And let’s just pretend that you have a million dollars.” And all these hypotheticals that have nothing to do with our boy, Ron.

Al: But more than Ron is listening to the show. So I’m giving more color here.

Joe: So Ron, let me answer someone else’s question.

Al: And then I’ll get to yours.

Joe: And then I’ll get to yours. Oh my God. I was like, “Oh, where’s he going with this one?” If you’re buying an annuity, an-an-annuity.

Al: That’s all folks.

Joe: We’re all done now. Br-br-br-br-

Al: But in this case, the spousal benefit for child in care doesn’t impact your benefits at all whatsoever.

Al: That was pretty hard to follow.

Al: I know it was. I didn’t even understand it as I was saying it.

Joe: It looked like you had a mini stroke kind of thinking about that. Um, let’s see… whose on first?

Al: Yeah, you know when you go down a path and you go, I shouldn’t really have done that. But it’s too late.

Joe: Way too late. “And so the spousal benefit…”

Al: Blah blah.. I had to go way outside the box to get back to the box. Yes. I’m aware that that didn’t make any sense. So you translate it.

Joe: You took a U-turn, one that just stayed a 360. So the spousal benefit on Social Security.

Al: Yeah. Let’s see you do it.

Joe: You gotta explain what the spousal benefit is. I’m a minimalist min-min-in-minimalist.

Andi: bdipbidpbidp That’s all folks?

Joe: Marble mouth is back. How are we all doing?

Al: Minimal-ist. That’s what you’re trying to say.

Joe: Thank you, sir. Yeah, I got this Celsius going. It’s just making my lips just go bananas.

Al: The tongue is loose. Okay.

Joe: We have been to East Mount, East.

Al: Easternmost.

Joe: Thank you, Easternmost point, Southernmost point and the Westernmost point and the North, Northernmost point in the lower 48 states. Okay, so he’s been all over the U.S. Also, we have swam in Atlanta Pacific and Arctic Oceans. The Arctic Ocean swim was after a 600 mile one way drive on a dirt road, to Tukayukka.

Al: That’s in Canada.

Joe: It’s a really nice place. I heard, oh boy. This is, this is, this is tough.

Al: Oh, he says Joe can’t wait until I hear you pronounce. Let me, let me try it. Tuk-tuk-toy-tuktuk-toy-yak-tuk.

Joe: Tukayokataka. Alright, we got, “hi Joe, Big Al, my question’s about family benefits for Social Security. I’ve heard this topic addressed in some previous podcasts, but honestly I felt that you’ve phoned in your answers.”

Al: We phoned it in. I was in Hawaii. I just phoned it in.

Joe: I was like, I could care less about this.

Al: If you have minor children, I think, and all the way up to full retirement age, I think, is that how it goes? So in other words, if you’re claiming your benefits-

Joe: You’re phoning it in.

Al: I’m phoning it in. Where’s my lifeline? Where’s my lifeline?

Joe: Claim your benefits early and you are still working, there’s going to be an additional reduction of those benefits as you work. So-

Al: Is that true for family benefits too?

Joe: I have no idea. I wished you weren’t going to ask me that.

Andi: Phoning it in.

Al: That’s why I asked the guru.

Joe: Yeah. I’ll figure that out in about 20 years.

Al: When it’s important to you.

Joe: When it’s important to me. “My wife is on SSDI.” Oh God. We’ve got all sorts of acronyms here.

Al: Social Security disability income.

Joe: All right. “She will be FRA-”

Andi: Full retirement age.

Al: Yeah. Full retirement age. We should translate these.

Joe: “Her SSDI will convert to FRB.”

Andi: Full retirement benefits?

Al:  Full retirement benefit. Okay. Got it.

Joe: “In March. Question.” If he’s already using these types of acronyms, I mean, he’s gotta know the answer.

Al: He’s just testing us.

Joe: He’s just testing us.

Al: He’s testing me, because it’s to me. I’m not sure I’m going to know the answer.

Joe: “Does she have to withdraw her FRB in order to receive DRCs?”

Al: What’s a DRC?

Joe: That’s a Delayed retirement credit.

Andi: Delayed retirement credit.

Al: My own personal thought is I’m not going to do something like this because I do believe in the viability, only because we’ve had problems before and it’s always been fixed, and I believe we have a vested interest as a country to fix it in the future.

Joe: Vote for Big Al in the 2024 election.

Outro

Andi: There you have it, 500 episodes of learning and laughing on Your Money, Your Wealth®. Obviously, this show cannot be a show without you. So keep sending in those questions, comments, and retirement spitball analysis requests. Click Ask Joe and Al On Air in the episode description. For Joe Anderson CFP®, Big Al Clopine CPA, and media producer Aaron Townsend, I’m executive producer Andi Last. I’ll leave you with these final words, and one last ridiculous outtake. We’ll see you next week for more retirement planning, investing, and tax reduction made fun on Your Money, Your Wealth®.

The YMYW Family

Joe: Yeah, Andi. We’re like a family.

Al: Yeah, we are.

Joe: Yeah.

Andi: And you are definitely like big brothers.

Joe: Yeah. We got cousin Eddie in the back.

Al: How do you describe him?

Joe: We got cousin Eddie, Aaron in the back. We don’t let him talk or, to be seen, but-

Al: He can talk. You just can’t hear him.

Joe: You just can’t hear him.

Al: Yeah. We hear him.

Joe: We hear him.

Al: That’s enough.

Joe: All right. That’s it for us. We’re out of here. Appreciate everyone’s emails and questions. Andi, wonderful job. Thank you as always.

Andi: Thank you.

Joe: And, Big Al, good to have you back in studio.

Al: It was fun.

Joe: Aaron, terrible job. The cameras, the lighting. Did you want to walk in? You want to say hi? You want to get-

Al: Yeah, Aaron, walk in. No one has seen you. They’ve seen Joe and I and Andi. Come on. Come in right now so we can

Joe: All right.

Al: What are you doing? Get over here. Wait, don’t close the show down just, just quite yet.

Joe: All right, there we go.

Aaron: Your Money, Your Wealth (inaudible)

Al: Oh yeah, you’re in the dark.

Joe: He’s our lighter. Headlight, headlight.

Al: No, I’m just kidding.

Joe: Light engineer.

Al: The light’s really good.

Joe: The light engineer is really killing it.

Aaron: (inaudible)

Joe: All right. There you go. All right. That’s it. We gotta take a break – or  we’re out of here. We’ll see you next week. Show’s called Your Money, Your Wealth®. (cut to Joe and Al cracking up)

The Biggest Derail Ever

Andi: Here he goes.

Al: He’s lost it. This is a Derail. (laughing)

Andi: I don’t think I can even use this as a Derail.

Joe: No way. We’ll start over. (laughing)

Al: You can keep the laughing part in.

Andi: I’ve never seen people laugh so silently.

Al: Just say these guys don’t even know what they’re laughing about. (laughing)

Joe: Okay, let’s go, okay, here we go, (laughing) okay, sorry, deep breath, deep breath, let’s start over. Okay.

Al: We’re not ready. (laughing)

Joe: I think I, alright. (laughing) We got Rob from Morristown, New Jersey.

Andi: Wow. You actually pronounced the city right this time.

Aaron: (inaudible) You created a shine on that forehead

Joe: That’s funny. Alright, we got Rob from Morristown, New Jersey. (laughing) Alright, “love your show and you both are very funny.” Oh boy.

Al: At least we laugh at each other. (laughing)

Joe: Oh man, you’re so funny, Al. (laughing)

Andi: Pure Financial Advisors is a registered investment advisor. This show does not intend to provide personalized investment advice through this podcast and does not represent that the securities or services discussed are suitable for any investor.

As rules and regulations change, podcast content may become outdated. Investors are advised not to rely on any information contained in the podcast in the process of making a full and informed investment decision.

_______

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